Disclaimer

Please choose carefully the information you post on Body Team Focus and that you provide to other Members. Any photographs posted by you may not contain nudity, violence, or offensive subject matter. Information provided by other Body Team Focus Members (for instance, in their Profile) may contain inaccurate, inappropriate or offensive material, products or services and as we do not have the resources of the CIA, Body Team Focus assumes no responsibility nor liability for this material.

Body Team Focus reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to reject, refuse to post or remove any posting (including email) by you, or to restrict, suspend, or terminate your access to all or any part of the Website and/or Services at any time, for any or no reason, with or without prior notice, and without liability. This will only happen when one of us is both sulking AND has nothing better to do at that given moment.

Terms of Use

1) Conduct & Eligibility

In using the Website and the Service, you do hereby swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth particularly in regard to how much weight you gained after last night’s pizza. Women are exempt from this because it just isn’t worth the trouble. You must be 18 years of age or older to use the site and must be willing to expand and improve on your quality of life to the benefit of yourself and others in the community. Those who are already fit are most welcome, but if you are already fit and smug about it, please take your white spandex hot pants with the sewn-in sock elsewhere. Again, women are exempt because it just isn’t worth the trouble. Your profile may be deleted without warning if it is found that you are misrepresenting your age, or by accident due to incompetence of the webmaster. Your Membership is solely for your personal use and you are solely responsible for all content published or displayed through it, and for your interactions with other members. Fights with other members are not permitted unless fully authorized by a Body Team Focus member, whereby the weapon of choice will be wedgies at dawn. In other words, behave yourself or we’ll cut ya.

You must maintain a valid email address for your account at all times. Failure to do so inhibits functionality of the site if a fellow member wants to email you or if the Head Honchos up top need to get ahold of you for something. Non-compliance will result in your account being suspended.

2) Term of the Agreement

Agreement remains in existence as long as you do. Get lippy on our site and that may not be too long. You may terminate your membership at any time, but we will be VERY upset with you! Body Team Focus may terminate your membership for any reason, and being a politician is plenty grounds enough. In fact, membership fees will apply for all of you and that includes Schwarzenegger. If we decide to terminate you, we will probably send you a mail to the address you provide in your Membership application but don’t count on it. By using the Service and becoming a Member, you acknowledge that we are the homeboys and therefore can do what we want within legal reason. The women will get away with more than the men but don’t start giving us grief about leaving the toilet seat up, I ain’t kiddin ya!

3) Non Commercial Use by Members

The Website is for the personal use of Members only and may not be used in connection with any commercial endeavors except ours. That is actually going to be a tough one to enforce because we are endorsing every program out there but you get the idea. If we see anyone trying to sell driveshafts or battery operated penguins on here you will be dragged in front of the class and wedgied. Illegal and/or unauthorized use of the Website, including collecting usernames and/or email addresses of Members by electronic or other means for the purpose of sending unsolicited email or unauthorized framing of or linking to the Website is WELL creepy and will not be tolerated. Commercial advertisements, affiliate links, and other forms of solicitation may be removed from member profiles without notice and may result in termination of membership privileges. Appropriate legal action will be taken by the Body Team Focus homeboys for any illegal or unauthorized use of the Website.

4) Proprietary Rights in Content on Body Team Focus

Body Team Focus owns and retains all proprietary rights in the Website and the Service. It took us like a squillion hours to put it together and if you try to nick it we’ll be down on you like the Cubans on Miami. The Website contains copyrighted material, trademarks, and other proprietary information of Body Team Focus and its licensors. Except for that information which is in the public domain or for which you have been given written permission, you may not copy, modify, publish, transmit, distribute, perform, display, or sell any such proprietary information. If you want to become a Distributor, let us know, but this is not Avon so don’t expect much commission.

5) Content Posted on the Site

a. You understand and agree that Body Team Focus have nothing better to do than read everything that is written on the site and reserve the right to delete ANYTHING that could be construed as unethical, unpalatable, unfathomable, unreadable, un-American, un-British, un-worldly, uneducated, unmoral, unpleasant, unsanitary or uncool. This includes messages, photos or profiles (which collectively will be referred heretofore as "Content" for the more uneducated politicians among you) that in the sole judgment of Body Team Focus violate this Agreement or which may be offensive, illegal or violate the rights, harm, or threaten the safety of any Member. In other words, behave yourself or we’ll cut ya.

b. You are solely responsible for the Content that you publish or display on the Service or any material or information that you transmit to other Members. If your 3 year old son logs on as you and picks a fight with another member, it is YOUR home address we will give out and YOU who will end up with the waistband of his shorts tied around his neck. Under such circumstances, Body Team Focus will not pay for either the shorts or the neck brace, so big fat there.

c. By posting any Content to the public areas of the Website, you hereby grant Body Team Focus the non-exclusive (unless you want it to be exclusive in which case we will happily beat everyone else off with a stick), fully paid, worldwide license to use, publicly perform and display such Content on the Website. This license will terminate at the time you remove such Content from the Website but if the content is REALLY COOL we will need a 100 page essay outlining your reason for removal before you can actually go ahead.

d. The following is a partial list of the kind of Content that is illegal or prohibited on the Website. Body Team Focus reserves the right to investigate and take appropriate legal action against anyone who violates this provision, including without limitation, removing the offending communication from the Service and terminating the membership of such violators. Prohibited Content includes Content that:

i. is patently offensive and promotes racism, bigotry, hatred or physical harm of any kind against any group or individual. No ifs or buts about this one, brothers and sisters. It is NOT something we joke about!

ii. harasses or advocates harassment of another person (unless the other person is a politician in which case fill your boots)

iii. involves the transmission of "junk mail", "chain letters," or unsolicited mass mailing or "spamming." The latter, in particular, will not be tolerated on this site. Spam has very poor nutritional content and is high in fat. Use turkey instead and we’ll leave you alone.

iv. promotes information that you know is false or misleading or promotes illegal activities or conduct that is abusive, threatening, obscene, defamatory or libelous. Defaming Homer is not always included in this because it’s too hard to resist, but even he has limits.

v. promotes an illegal or unauthorized copy of another person’s copyrighted work, such as providing pirated computer programs or links to them, providing information to circumvent manufacture-installed copy-protect devices, or providing pirated music or links to pirated music files. You may be exempt from prosecution, however, if you can explain to us what all that means!

vi. contains restricted or password only access pages or hidden pages or images (those not linked to or from another accessible page). That’s just sneaky and we won’t have it.

vii. provides material that exploits people under the age of 18 in a sexual or violent manner, or solicits personal information from anyone under 18.

viii. provides instructional information about illegal activities such as making or buying illegal weapons, violating someone’s privacy, or providing or creating computer viruses. Then again, that would mean you are nowhere near cool enough for our website so we wouldn’t want you anyway.

ix. solicits passwords or personal identifying information for commercial or unlawful purposes from other users. Well creepy.

x. involves commercial activities and/or sales without our prior written consent such as contests, sweepstakes, barter, advertising, or pyramid schemes. The discussion of trainspotting falls into the same category, so don’t do it.

xi. aggressively diverts members to another site. We don’t like you doing it gently either so unless you want to be tonight’s pinyada, keep your thieving hands to yourself.

or xii. otherwise does not exhibit maturity, self restraint, and respect for others at all times, including moderation in posting in our community. Homer is exempt by reason of insanity.

e. You must use the Service in a manner consistent with any and all applicable laws and regulations. In other words, don’t act like the FBI!

f. You may not engage in advertising to, or solicitation of, any Member to buy or sell any products or services through the Service. You may not transmit any chain letters or junk email to other Members. Although Body Team Focus cannot monitor the conduct of its Members off the Website, it is also a violation of these rules to use any information obtained from the Service in order to harass, abuse, or harm another person, or in order to contact, advertise to, solicit, or sell to any Member without their prior explicit consent. In order to protect our Members from such advertising or solicitation, the Body Team Focus homeboys reserve the right to restrict the number of emails which a Member may send to other Members in any 24-hour period to a number which said homeboys deem appropriate in their sole (or collective) discretion.

g. You may not cover or obscure the banner advertisements on your personal profile page, or any Body Team Focus page via HTML/CSS or any other means. Go make your own website and doodle on that one instead.

h. Any automated use of the system, such as using scripts to add friends, is prohibited. (Though clever.)

i. You may not attempt to impersonate another user or person who is not a member of Body Team Focus. This rule may be waived if you look even remotely like Jennifer Aniston.

j. You may not use the account, username, or password of another Member at any time nor may you disclose your password to any third party or permit any third party to access your account. That rule is for those with an IQ in single figures. Therefore politicians.

k. You may not sell or otherwise transfer your profile.

6) Copyright Policy

You may not post, distribute, or reproduce in any way any copyrighted material, trademarks, or other proprietary information without obtaining the prior written consent of the owner of such proprietary rights.

Body Team Focus encourages the submission of all material that may be useful to the community. Authors of such material will retain their full rights to the work. Body Team Focus reserves the right to publish such submissions on our web site(s) unless the author requests otherwise.

Member authorizes Body Team Focus to utilize, in any manner it sees fit and for eternity, the Submissions posted on the site, which shall become the property of Body Team Focus. Member releases Body Team Focus from any and all claims or liability (now known or hereafter arising) in connection therewith, and agrees to indemnify Body Team Focus in connection therewith. Member agrees and acknowledges that participation in the Body Team Focus site shall not give rise to any confidential, fiduciary, implied-in-fact, implied-in-law, contractual or other special relationship between the Member and Body Team Focus (other than the contractual relationship between Body Team Focus and the member entered into by virtue of the member’s agreement to these Rules of Conduct.)

7) Member Disputes

You are solely responsible for your interactions with Body Team Focus Members. However, the homeboys reserve the right, but have no obligation, to monitor disputes between you and other Members. In such circumstances, there will be a Three Strike clause strictly invoked.

If a member acts in an inappropriate, aggressive, abusive or offensive manner on the site, he or she will receive a warning from the team that said behavior will not be tolerated. That will be Strike 1.

If the same member continues their inappropriate behavior, they will receive a FINAL warning and notice of termination. That will be Strike 2.

If the member is dumb enough to STILL persist, they will be terminated without further warnings. That is Strike 3 and you will be back in the dugout well before the 9th inning.

In extreme cases, Body Team Focus reserves the right to terminate on Strikes 1 or 2 at their sole discretion. If you don’t like it, we don’t care, because no one worth caring about would do such a thing in the first place.

8) Disclaimers

Body Team Focus is not legally responsible for any incorrect or inaccurate Content posted on the Website or in connection with the Service provided, whether caused by users of the Website, Members or by any of the equipment or programming associated with or utilized in the Service. If we messed up while programming, we may apologize but only if we like you and think you have a point. Body Team Focus is not responsible for the conduct, whether online or offline, of any user of the Website or Member of the Service. Body Team Focus assumes no responsibility for any error, omission, interruption, deletion, defect, delay in operation or transmission, communications line failure, theft or destruction or unauthorized access to, or alteration of, any user or Member communication. If something like that happens, it’s probably down to the politicians. Body Team Focus is not responsible for any problems or technical malfunction of any telephone network or lines, computer online systems, servers or providers, computer equipment, software, failure of any email or players due to technical problems or traffic congestion on the Internet or at any Website or combination thereof, including any injury or damage to users and/or Members or to any person’s computer related to or resulting from participation or downloading materials in connection with the Website and/or in connection with the Service. That should cover everything but if it doesn’t, assume it! Under no circumstances shall Body Team Focus be responsible for any loss or damage, including personal injury or death, resulting from use of the Website or the Service or from any Content posted on the Website or transmitted to Members, or any interactions between users of the Website, whether online or offline. The Website and the Service are provided "AS IS" and Body Team Focus expressly disclaims any warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or non-infringement. This applies double for Homer’s advice which should be taken like a spoonful of a strange green substance offered by a total stranger. Body Team Focus cannot guarantee and does not promise any specific results from use of the Website and/or the Service.

9) Limitation on Liability

IN NO EVENT SHALL Body Team Focus BE LIABLE TO YOU OR ANY THIRD PARTY FOR ANY INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, EXEMPLARY, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, INCLUDING LOST PROFIT DAMAGES ARISING FROM YOUR USE OF THE WEB SITE OR THE SERVICE, EVEN IF Body Team Focus HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. NOTWITHSTANDING ANYTHING TO THE CONTRARY CONTAINED HEREIN, Body Team Focus’ LIABILITY TO YOU FOR ANY CAUSE WHATSOEVER AND REGARDLESS OF THE FORM OF THE ACTION, WILL AT ALL TIMES BE LIMITED TO AMOUNT PAID, IF ANY, BY YOU TO Body Team Focus FOR THE SERVICE DURING THE TERM OF MEMBERSHIP. We’re particularly scared of that one which is why it’s in block capitals.

10) Disputes

If there is any dispute about or involving the Website and/or the Service, by using the Website, you agree that any dispute shall be governed by the laws of Delaware without regard to conflict of law provisions and you agree to personal jurisdiction by and venue in the State of Delaware. That means our State of Incorporation, not a backwater courtroom with your cousins as jury and Uncle Elmer as judge.

11) Indemnity

You agree to indemnify and hold Body Team Focus, its subsidiaries, affiliates, officers, agents, and other partners and employees, harmless from any loss, liability, claim, or demand, including reasonable attorney’s fees, made by any third party due to or arising out of your use of the Service in violation of this Agreement and/or arising from a breach of this Agreement and/or any breach of your representations and warranties set forth above. This will be a first for Homer, who is so accident-prone that he rarely finds anything harmless or without consequence.

12) Other

This Agreement is accepted upon your use of the Website and is further affirmed by you becoming a Member of the Service. This Agreement constitutes the entire agreement between you and Body Team Focus regarding the use of the Website and/or the Service. The failure of Body Team Focus to exercise or enforce any right or provision of this Agreement shall not operate as a waiver of such right or provision. The section titles in this Agreement are for convenience only and have no legal or contractual effect. Please contact us with any questions regarding this Agreement.

13) Fun clause

You must agree to have it at all times. Failure to do so will result in a lack of enjoyment.